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Love is...
Love isn't

There are many ways we can talk about love. But there are certain images and words describing what love is that lead to confusion and sometimes to bad situations if acted on. In fact some of these messages are actually what love isn't. There are many things about love that can't be summed up in a word. Here are two lists to help you sort out what love is or isn't. These lists are to help you decide how you want to be treated.

 

Love is... Love isn't

Responsibility
Hard Work
Pleasure
Commitment
Caring
Honesty
Trust
Communication
Sharing
Compromising
Closeness
Recognizing Differences
Vulnerability
Openness
Respect
Friendship
Strong Feelings

Jealousy
Possessiveness
Pain
Violence
Sex
Obsession
Being Selfish
Cruelty
Getting Pregnant
Making Someone Pregnant
Dependency
Giving Up Yourself
Intimidation
Scoring
Fear
Proving Yourself
Manipulation
Expecting All Your Needs to be Met

London Abused Women's Centre, 2002
Adapted from: Fitzpatrick, D. (1992). Outreach to Teens: A Manual for Counsellors who work with Teen Victims of Violence Against Women

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